Everyone Does The Star Wars Prequels Better Than The Guy Who Did The Star Wars Prequels

A lot of people enjoy giving George Lucas crap because, aside from the original film, the biggest problem with the Star Wars universe is George Lucas. I am one of those people. I wasn't always. Up until 1999, I thought George Lucas was an alright sort of guy. He had made some movies I really liked. I applauded the tweaks to the original trilogy during the late nineties re-releases. For the most part, they were superficial upgrades, like putting a coat of wax on a classic car. Jedi came off the worst, making actual changes to the film, and perhaps that is where the troubles began. Because we all know what happened in 1999. And again in 2002, and 2005. And every time George Lucas has opened his mouth since. Now, instead of polishing the car, he's taking the motor out, replacing the fender and putting an Aston badge on a Buick.

Fans are not ones to make due, and here are two excellent examples of fans taking matters into their own hands, one of them literally.

The video above seeks to redeem Episode I, a feat I considered impossible. Episode II is the worst of the prequels, see. Because it had the potential to be good. It's the worst because it's disappointing. There is a good film in there somewhere, on it's knees, screaming at the sky to be let out. Episode I isn't like that. It's just terrible. It's not even in the same league of mediocrity that Episodes II and III inhabit. It is its own snarling, putrid beast, and sadly, it appears to be the one George has the most affection for. Then I watched this video, which actually made me want to watch Episode I, a presence I've not felt in a long time. Which makes it all the sadder, because this Episode I doesn't exist. We are stuck with what George gave us.

Or are we? Topher Grace (yes, the one you're thinking of. Like the Highlander, there can be only one) took to the prequels with a machete and a lack of remorse, and edited together all three films into a single, 85 minute long prequel. He screened it for friends in LA, and can't release it for obvious legal reasons. Which is a shame, because Peter Sciretta's breakdown on /Film (because he was lucky enough to get invited to the screening - I'm guessing he has pictures of Grace doing horrible things to an ewok) makes it sound fun, which the prequels certainly were not. Most impressive - Grace managed to remove nearly the entire running time of Episode I, leaving only the Darth Maul fight as a prologue, and Liam Neeson as a cameo.

I highly recommend heading over to /Film and reading the description, then sitting in a depressive funk for the rest of the weekend, knowing that George Lucas hates us all.

Via /Film.
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About MR. Clark

Adopting the descriptor of "successfully unpublished author", MR. Clark began writing things on the internet in 2012, which he believed to be an entirely reputable and civilized place to find and deliver information. He regrets much.


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