Why Is The Sarsaparilla Always Gone - First Look At The Lone Ranger

Photo from Jerry Bruckheimer

I just can't shake the feeling that this one is going to suck. Of course, I remember feeling that way back when the first Pirates movie came out. So much so that I waited until it was released on DVD to catch up with it. Turns out, what I was feeling was temporal displacement, all my feelings of the next three movies (and gods help us, maybe more) coming backward through time to warn me about dark days ahead.

On the other hand, the first Pirates film was very good. And the Gore Verbinksi-Johnny Depp team crafted my favourite animated movie of last year, Rango, which did demonstrate a propensity for the western. But they weren't under the boot heel of the Disney profit machine, which inclines me to believe that The Lone Ranger will be more Pirates of the Old West than anything else. Johnny Depp pretending to be a Native American, falling down and running away from explosions, slightly mad-cap, all the while protecting an blissfully ignorant Armie Hammer.

Speaking of,  maybe it's because I'm not sold on Armie Hammer. His duel role in The Social Network was good, and I enjoyed his short run as the Devil's son on Reaper, but he was one (of many) major weakness in J. Edgar. He is a physical presence, to be sure. It's almost exclusively what had him hired as Batman in that failed Justice League film some years back, but I haven't seen anything of substance from him that convinces me he's is anything other than a very tall man with a deep voice.

At least they got rid of all that werewolf rubbish.

Via /Film
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About MR. Clark

Adopting the descriptor of "successfully unpublished author", MR. Clark began writing things on the internet in 2012, which he believed to be an entirely reputable and civilized place to find and deliver information. He regrets much.


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