Nick Offerman Is A Better Man Then You: He's A Swanson

I am so sorry. So, so sorry. But I had to... How could I not?
Nick Offerman, the man behind the moustache that is Ron Swanson, has done a fantastic interview with GQ, which you will now go and read here. Go on. OK, for those that didn't, I've pulled my favourite quotes. I can think of no better way to end the week then basking in the glow of this man's advice.
  • I've learned through experience that to trouble celebrities with my handshake doesn't do anybody any good.
  • [Concerning Community boss Dan Harmon's firing] I think Dan is brilliant, but we all kind of hung our heads and thought, That's no way for a boss to behave.
  • You always have to have the tools you might need in the eventuality of a flat tire or a broken window. In the traditional role of man, it falls to you to keep the weather out and fish in the boat.
  • Having manners was equivalent to a superpower in the [movie] business.
  • [After the size of his penis was compared to the size of his truck] I actually haul trees that I cut with my chainsaw, ma'am. And my genitals are perfectly adequate.
  • Learn to do something with your hands. Ladies and men alike find handcrafting to be really sexy.
  • Of course smartphones are brilliant inventions, but the nefarious thing about Twitter and other social media is that it starts to fill all the gaps in your day. I quickly become an addict.
  • It's not that different from any relationship where you live with someone: At some point they're going to get on your tits and you need to rise above it. [Author's note: unless they leave crab meat everywhere. In which case, frak them].
  • Grab yourself by your bootstraps and do it yourself, jerk [in context, it's about Twitter, but really, that's just the best #1 rule to life there can be. Maybe "don't fight bears", but certainly it's in the top five.]

Via Warming Glow.
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About MR. Clark

Adopting the descriptor of "successfully unpublished author", MR. Clark began writing things on the internet in 2012, which he believed to be an entirely reputable and civilized place to find and deliver information. He regrets much.


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