A Thing That Probably Won't Happen. And If It Does, Will Probably Suck

Courtesy of Warner Bros
Regular readers will note... Ahahaha, I couldn't even get through that. Hello, random hobo using this site at the public library as quick cover while you actually watch grotesque pornography.

Anyway, you might have noticed I have given zero coverage to the new CW program, Arrow. And you might think this strange. It's an adaption of the Green Arrow character, my favourite hero from the DC universe. And it has recently cast John Barrowman, late of Torchwood, which considering my affection for Doctor Who might have been of interest. And yet, nothing. Why, you scream at the screen as the library's monitoring system shuts down your deviations, leaving you only with this site as cold comfort for your wine and cigarette butt-addled mind. Why, you may also ask, no Arrow coverage?

It's because I have no faith in the series. None. If I ever watch it, it will be well into the run, letting review and consensus and wild internet yelly time wash over me. I'm not going to invest interest in a show that has already done nothing to make me think this is going to work out. They've changed the title to Arrow, because it's not easy being green? They've introduced a character that has a similar name to the long time love interest of the Green Arrow, the Black Canary (whom I expect this show to call just Canray) but it isn't really her. Or it is, or something. They've cast a Bat-family character to appear on the show, despite the only connection between her and Green Arrow is that she was in the Birds of Prey with Black Canary, who see the previous comment. And, and I cannot stress this enough, Smallville was terrible.

Soul crushingly terrible. And yes, I know, it's from different creators, and different writers, but Smallville already ruined Green Arrow once (or more accurately, ruined Batman by calling him Green Arrow). And it's still the CW. They make a certain kind of show, for a certain audience. A more female based, more teenage aged audience. Things tend to lean to the melodramatic, relationship drama, low budget for superheroes end of things. With less then stellar writing, and even worse acting. They make shows starring pretty people who are sad, and then happy, and then end with popular music. It's a formula that works for them. It also makes for some pretty bad TV.

Which is why it is sad that they have ordered a Wonder Woman script, titled Amazon (CALL IT WHAT IT IS!) that will "focus on Wonder Woman as a young budding superhero, rather than a fully formed defender of liberty." Which I read to mean, Wonder Woman in the 17-21 age bracket, possibly posing as a college student or some stupid thing like that. And she'll probably be wearing pants. Or not. Steven Trevor will undoubtedly be a professor's TA or something equally stupid.

The good news is, it's being written by Allan Heinberg, a writer on books like Young Avengers, Teen Titans, and briefly Wonder Woman, as well as TV shows like Sex and the City, The O.C. and Party of Five. So, we'd probably be the right guy for the job. Except I'd rather see Keri Russell in an adaptation of Brian Azzarello's most recent run on Wonder Woman, then have Diana turned into fodder for yet another late teens relationship drama.

Warner Bros, which owns DC Comics, also owns the CW. So, the company's properties ending up there makes as much sense as Marvel's ending up on ABC. And the CW certainly is willing to give DC properties more of a chance then anyone else, having made three (Smallville, Birds of Prey, Arrow) into series, and ordering pilots on a couple others. I just wish they didn't have such a narrow mandate. And, you know, made better TV.

Could be worse, though. It could be on NBC.

Via Den of Geek.
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About MR. Clark

Adopting the descriptor of "successfully unpublished author", MR. Clark began writing things on the internet in 2012, which he believed to be an entirely reputable and civilized place to find and deliver information. He regrets much.


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