It Gets Fuller

It's a lie. I know it is. I look at my own nose-skirt every morning and think and wish and hope and pray to a  dear and shiny lord of facial hair, but it never fills in the way I want it to. And I look around, at those who sport a full Reynolds, or a near instantaneous Panayot Hitov, or a thick, illustrious Offerman. And I curse them. To their hair covered faces, I curse them. Then I recede to my own dark recesses, and weep, hoping the tears shall nourish my lip, and causes the growth to begin again, like a farmer's field after a fresh rain. But the crops never come...

But when Nick "Axe Swanson" Offerman tells me it gets fuller, I suppose I feel a touch of hope.

Via Uproxx.
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About MR. Clark

Adopting the descriptor of "successfully unpublished author", MR. Clark began writing things on the internet in 2012, which he believed to be an entirely reputable and civilized place to find and deliver information. He regrets much.


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