I'm Betting This Still Doesn't Happen

Universal has announced that Jurassic Park 4 will be in theatres June 13th of next year, missing the 20th anniversary by almost exactly a year. This is, however, the only thing they have announced, and why I'm giving this story the biggest, saltiest grain of salt my giant bag of massive salt grains has in it, and so should you.

There is no director. There is no cast. There is no script, other then a draft handed in by Rise of the Planet of the Apes writers Rick Jaffa and Amanda Silver. That Spielberg is producing is only a given considering he holds the rights. Let me be clear: there is no movie here. There is an intention that, in less then a year and a half, the studio intends to turn around an entire special effects laden (and 3D, oy) adventure picture. And my money is it won't happen. For all the above reasons, and that a Jurassic Park 4 has nearly happened a half a dozen times already, and has not happened. Now, that's a bit like saying I've never been killed horribly in a tiger mauling: it's not to say it won't happen, but the longer it goes without happening, the better my chances of it not (statisticians will try to tell you the longer something goes without happening, the greater the odds it will. Statisticians are a sad lonely group, who enjoy ruining other people's fun).

If they hire a director, if they assemble a cast, if they start to shoot, then maybe I'll be convinced. I don't know if I'll be happy, but I'll be convinced. While Jurassic Park is my favourite movie, a film which I have undying love and support for, the third film suffered from massive script problems (you don't kill off everyone you're going to kill within the first ten minutes of arriving, then have no one get et for the rest of the film) and the second wasn't even a Jurassic Park film (ask me about that later, I'm busy now). It doesn't appear to be heading towards remake territory, what with the 4 and all, which we can all be thankful for, but there doesn't appear to be many other places for it to go otherwise. Until something substantial happens, I'll just keep playing Operation Genesis, and be happy

Whatever happens, it probably won't be this nonsense. Probably.

Via Den of Geek.
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About MR. Clark

Adopting the descriptor of "successfully unpublished author", MR. Clark began writing things on the internet in 2012, which he believed to be an entirely reputable and civilized place to find and deliver information. He regrets much.


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