Yep, That Is Terrible. Just... Terrible

To my mind, there is little else worse then a live action film, with CG characters, based on a cartoon. I should say, little else worse on film. There are, of course, far worse things then that outside of film, but not many. Maybe five, six things. Those little peppermint hearts they sell at Valentine's day. Temperatures that exceed 40 degrees, on either side of the scale. The clap. And then live action cartoon adaptations.

It started with Casper in 1995 (or maybe even the Flintstones the year before) and despite the fact that Rocky and Bullwinkle, Scooby-Doo, Yogi Bear, Garfield, Underdog, the various Chipmunks films, the Smurfs, Marmaduke, and the like have all had the consistency and nutritional value of premium bottom gravy, this has not stopped the studios from cranking one out after another, filling in those gaps in the release schedules with some bottom-dredged shill-scum to pollute the cinetoriums for a couple weeks. I mean, kids don't even enjoy this shit, and they certainly aren't being made for the adults to bask in the nostalgia (though, they are being made with the same level of respect and attention as Transformers, or GI Joe).

Which brings us to the test reel up top, which contains footage filmed and prepared by Alex Zamm, a creative force behind several direct to video embellishments, and the TV show Dog With A Blog, which I take to mean is a wikipedia error, and not a real thing. It features footage for a Hong Kong Phooey film starring Eddie "For The Money, Dear Boy" Murphy which is apparently in process of being made, and a Marvin the Martian film that thankfully never did. I could care less about Phooey, but Marvin, as a character, has a place close to my heart. The trailer, or whatever it is, is as terrible as you'd expect, and is basically a bad impersonator saying Marvin's famous lines with zero context for a couple minutes, which inexplicably, a child instead of a rabbit or a duck.

In all seriousness, to wash away the taste of this thing, I rewatched the trailer for Beautiful Creatures, just to get the zesty taste of vomit back in my mouth.

Via Topless Robot.
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About MR. Clark

Adopting the descriptor of "successfully unpublished author", MR. Clark began writing things on the internet in 2012, which he believed to be an entirely reputable and civilized place to find and deliver information. He regrets much.


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