I Still Maintain This Will Suck

Courtesy of Universal

According to reports last week, Colin Trevorrow has been selected as the director of Jurassic Park 4, a film which I won't consider real until I'm sitting in the theatre as the light dim. And only barely then...

Trevorrow made his debut with last year's Safety Not Guaranteed, a film that was certainly unique, and had a lot of interesting ideas, but that I never warmed to the way everyone else did. It was a character study piece, and aside from the literal last minute, nothing in it suggested to me that Trevorrow was a natural choice to take over the reigns on Jurassic Park

I have a lot of problems with the concept of Jurassic Park 4, and Trevorrow isn't one of them. He'll either do a good job, or he won't. My issues are with the fact that, based on at least one draft of a script by Rise of the Planet of the Apes writers Rick Jaffa and Amanda Silver, the film is apparently set to film this summer in Louisiana, with a release date of June next year. This is stupidly quick. Even with the advances in digital effect production, I can't imagine that any film that will require as much digital work and animatronics as a Jurassic Park film needs, would be close to decent with that fast a turn around. Compounded by the fact that they've only just hired a director, and have no cast. I suppose at least they have a script, which is more then some films get these days.

It seems to me that Frank Marshall, Patrick Crowley and Steven Spielberg are rushing this movie into production without having fulfilled the necessary pre-production work (for reference, Spielberg worked on the original film for more then a year before filming began; Trevorrow will get a couple months if the schedule holds), probably at the insistence of the studio. Universal has wanted to get another JP flick out since the third movie arrived more then a decade ago, but have encountered roadblocks in that every attempt thus far has been utter crap.

I would love to see a well made Jurassic Park 4 happen, I really would. Jurassic Park is my favourite film, but Jurassic Park 3 had serious problems, and Lost World wasn't even really a Jurassic Park film (ask me about that later, I'm busy now). Maybe hiring Trevorrow, and the "tight" schedule, is a sign Spielberg is taking the series to a smaller, more grounded place (though how that would work, I'm not certain, considering the original invented modern digital cinema).

I know my wish list is pretty short, but specific: 1) Make it a continuation, not a reboot. 2) The original film is largely responsible for changing the public perception of how dinosaurs looked and moved, over turning a good century of misconception. So, feather those theropods Spielbergo [update: nope]. 3) Bring back different original cast members. As much as I'd like to see Goldblum again, I'd much rather the story move on organically, by keeping it in the family. Hire Joseph Mazzello to play Tim again. He recently appeared in Justified, and was briefly excellent. Also, hire Aubrey Plaza. Just 'cause. 4) Keep it simple. People go to island full of dinosaurs, number of people gradually gets reduced as dinosaurs discover exciting new taste sensation. 5) Introduce new dinosaurs. There are somewhere in the region of 700 known species of dinosauria, and around 40 specifically named in the various films and novels. So maybe it doesn't have to be all raptors, all the time. How about trying out the Allosaurus (bias alert: personal favourite), which sits nicely on the size scale between large raptors and the T-rex.

Or, better yet, don't make another film, allow the original to continue to stand as a testement to imagination and the wonder of film and... oh, the money, you say? You want to make much money? Well, I guess I can't argue with such a bold, artistic position as that.

Via /Film.
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About MR. Clark

Adopting the descriptor of "successfully unpublished author", MR. Clark began writing things on the internet in 2012, which he believed to be an entirely reputable and civilized place to find and deliver information. He regrets much.


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