No No No! I Refuse To Accept This Will Suck



Walking With Dinosaurs: The Movie has the potential to be one of the better dinosaur movies ever made, by virtue of being a dinosaur movie, not a movie with dinosaurs in it. With the volume muted, it appears to have been filmed like a narrative-structured nature documentary. And in the international trailer, which was far better then this American one, that was the case. It had a terrible voice over, but compared to his one, it was Casablanca.

This trailer uses the narrator as the internal monologue of the dino (identified as Pachyrhinosaurus), and decreases my interest in this film significantly. I want the actions of the animals to speak for themselves, though I would begrudgingly accept a voice over narration, like Kenneth Branagh's from the original mini series. But I will not accept a Homeward Bound-style anthropomorphising of these animals for the sake of American comfort. This is a science film, dammit, not a Disney picture!

I can easily see the studio releasing two versions of the film: one where the world the filmmakers have created speaks for itself, to be released internationally. And another, with kid friendly "gods forbid the audience shouldn't have to be spoon fed anything, lets dilute any sense of scientific validity the film might have for the sake of the box office, dinosaurs are kids stuff and it's just a cartoon why shouldn't it have goofy voice overs" version for North America. And if you take offence to that, let me remind you that Pirates: In An Adventure With Scientists was changed to Band of Misfits in the US and Australia, and British voices were redubbed with American voices, expressly for those reasons.

And that makes me so sad and angry I think I need to lie down. Fox, you are officially on notice: don't ruin this movie trying to appeal to the lowest common denominator.
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About MR. Clark

Adopting the descriptor of "successfully unpublished author", MR. Clark began writing things on the internet in 2012, which he believed to be an entirely reputable and civilized place to find and deliver information. He regrets much.

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