If It's By Shakespeare, Everyone In The Title Dies

As summer winds to a close, and millions of students prepare to return to the classroom, it is important to remember that over the course of their studies they will be expected to read many books. Some of them will be good, and fill them a wondrous awe that will nourish their souls for years. And others will be molar-meltingly dull (especially if it's by anyone named Dickens), and make stuffing their nostrils full of packing peanuts covered in Tabasco sauce seem like an excellent way to get out of class.

Where better to turn then, when looking for advice on how to get through the slog that can occasionally be classic literature, then the only voice of reason you could ever possibly need, Nick "Axe Swanson" Offerman, as he provides the boiler plate versions of the works students will need to know, without all the wordiness of Coles Notes.

Just remember, when stuffing your nostrils full of packing peanuts, use Frank's Red Hot instead. It's less bitey.

Via Uproxx.
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About MR. Clark

Adopting the descriptor of "successfully unpublished author", MR. Clark began writing things on the internet in 2012, which he believed to be an entirely reputable and civilized place to find and deliver information. He regrets much.


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