Reminder: Nick Offerman Is Excellent

Between reading his biography, watching him week to week on Parks and Rec, and being unable to exorcise the image of him playing Theodore Roosevelt from my mind, Nick Offerman has become a regular feature of my life. And I'm not complaining.

In light of NBC's recent treatment of Parks and Rec, which I did complain about, Offerman has offered these sage words of wisdom, which might qualify as the greatest metaphor in the history of spoken language. Enjoy.

"We don’t really bat an eyelash. It’s not the first time, nor the second, that we’ve been shuffled around by the network. We want the best for the network. They are a larger organism of which we’re a living breathing part. I dare say we are the throbbing, turgid boner of NBC. Perhaps, more appropriately, we’re also the second ovaries since our show is a matriarchy under Amy [Poehler]. But like any organism, sometimes you’re proud of your genitals, and you want to use them to give pleasure to others. And other times you have to focus on the other parts of your body — if you have a bad tooth or an ear infection. In those instances, you don’t generally want your genitalia exposed. And so you put it away while you pay attention to your haircut. If you’re getting your lips or ears pierced, you don’t want your genitalia stealing the thunder."
 I loved every single word of that. To the literal extent that I have nothing else to add.

Via Uproxx.
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About MR. Clark

Adopting the descriptor of "successfully unpublished author", MR. Clark began writing things on the internet in 2012, which he believed to be an entirely reputable and civilized place to find and deliver information. He regrets much.


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