Zombeavers. That Is All


Visonary Director: OK, so I've got this great idea for a movie.

Accomplished Producer: Shoot [makes finger pistols].

Director: So, it's a commentary - I don't want to say satire, but definitely an homage - to horror movies.

Producer: Horror movies are hot right now.

Director: Yeah. A group of friends go into the woods...

Producer: Will there be nubile young twenty somethings?

Director: Umm, yeah.

Producer: So, there will be boobies?

Director: S...ure. Though, the story I really want to tell is...

Producer: And lots of implied sexuality? Nothing too overt, you know. Got to watch that rating.

Director: Sure, whatever. So, these kids they go into the woods, and I want to use the isolation of the wildness to make a comment on how isolated and removed the youth of today are from society.

Producer: Well, we'll stick a pin in that for a moment. Can we talk about the boobies for a second.

Director: Well, I'd like to fini...

Producer: I'm thinking, lots of swimming sequences. Get that Jaws style tension building, plus plenty of opportunities for tops to slip off. And handbras. Everyone loves handbras.

Director: Yeah, that's fine. But the message I really want to send, you know, with a fresh new edge that the audience can relate to, is that for society to function, you can't hide behind technology, but have to work together. And that's the only way we'll survive.

Producer: I don't really see a lot of money in that. I mean, that'll be a hard sell in the domestic market.

Director: But what I want to get across is if we, as people, don't band together, than society will crumble. Just like they'll all die at the hands of zombie beavers.

Producer: ...

Director: See, there are beavers. That are zombies.

Producer: ...

Director: And they are a metaphor for the current state of our culture. Slowly being rotted by apathy and indifference. But, you know, with beavers.

Producer: ...

Director: That are zombies.

Producer: I could kiss you hard on the mouth right now, you glorious bastard.
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About MR. Clark

Adopting the descriptor of "successfully unpublished author", MR. Clark began writing things on the internet in 2012, which he believed to be an entirely reputable and civilized place to find and deliver information. He regrets much.

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