Come On Kids, We're Going To Go Down To The Rancid Whale


You wouldn't expect it, but I have a bit of history covering beached whales on this site. Well, exploding whales, actually. Still, if it's as good a traditional as I've got, I might as well keep it going.

On May 19th, a 57-foot dead fin whale washed ashore in San Diego county. The carcass was towed back out to sea in the hopes that it would sink or be eaten, but like a bad penny, it decided to come back. Like a 57 foot, rancid penny corpse. The whale returned to it's native beaching grounds over the weekend, much to the delight of the more disturbed of San Diego's frolicking seaside children. Having learned the lessons from failures of the past, and not wanting to pelt beach bums with airborne blubber, officials in consultation with the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration have begun to disassemble the carcass for "exploratory necropsy," or in layman's terms, "whale salvage."

Meanwhile, the Royal Ontario Museum had their hands full trying to remove the remains of two dead blue whales from the Trout River in Newfoundland at the start of last month. When the first of the whales washed up at the end of March, the assumption was that nature would reclaim it's lost treasure. When the second appeared to join it, outside help was needed. And, turns out funding for the removal of one whale was doable, but the number crunchers couldn't justify both of the formerly aquatic mammals. The logistical nightmare, not to mention the growing smell, left the neighbouring Woody Point an unpleasant place to live for a couple weeks there. The six day operation to strip and preserve the whales, and ship them back to Toronto for study, has since completed, leaving only a greasy smug and a pile of discarded viscera as a reminder of the event.

But neither one exploded unexpectedly, so we'll give the points to humans this time. Your move, dead whales!

Via Uproxx and the CBC.
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About MR. Clark

Adopting the descriptor of "successfully unpublished author", MR. Clark began writing things on the internet in 2012, which he believed to be an entirely reputable and civilized place to find and deliver information. He regrets much.

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