Clap for Koalas


If there are three things that everyone should know about the Koala (which isn't, and never has been, a bear - so, I guess four things everyone should know) it's these facts:

1) Koalas have the smallest brain to body ratio of any marsupial, which also makes them one of the stupidest marsupials going. Which could go a ways towards explaining why they eat exclusively poison. A reasonable animal would have noticed a correlation between eating a nutrient-bereft plant that contains powerful toxins, and the inability to stay awake for more than 4 hours at a time.

2) Koala fingerprints are indistinguishable from a human's fingerprints. So, if you are going to commit a crime, train a koala to do it for you. Of course, you can't train a koala to do anything because of their exceeding stupidity.

3) They have chlamydia. A lot of chlamydia. In some areas of Australia, the infection rate is up to 90%. And considering that there are only an estimated 43,000 wild koalas left, that is a lot of clap-happy koalas. Except they aren't happy, they're blind and sick. But they don't know that, because they are either asleep, or just oblivious. Because of their tiny tiny brains.

It is to this last fact that there may be good news on the horizon. Microbiologists from the University of the Sunshine Coast in Queensland have successfully completed a trial of vaccinating koalas against the STD. After five years of development, 60 animals north of Brisbane were entered into the programme, which saw 30 koalas given the treatment. The results saw an 87% rate at limiting, preventing or reducing the effects of the diseases, which is most easily diagnosed by the appearance of an eye infection. When left untreated, the disease progresses to blindness, infertility and death. The researchers hope to increase the scope of the treatment, giving the animal a chance to bounce back in their natural habitats.

Though, maybe the researchers could try to convince them to eat kale, or really anything else, that might help too.

Via PhysOrg.
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About MR. Clark

Adopting the descriptor of "successfully unpublished author", MR. Clark began writing things on the internet in 2012, which he believed to be an entirely reputable and civilized place to find and deliver information. He regrets much.

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