The Sequel Will Be Called The Teal Slope

Here is my Crimson Peak story. It's not so much a story as it is a series of short anecdotes, but all the same here it is: the bulk of the film was made in Toronto, which Guillermo del Toro fell in love with while making Pacific Rim, but a few select exterior scenes were filmed in my home town, a couple hours up the highway. Seems that my home town has the best preserved or unmutilated architecture from the period, and with the covering of a few story signs and removal of some modern technology, the downtown core appears to have been frozen in time for the past two hundred years. This no doubt made the city council wet their britches, as they've spent a considerable amount of time and money making the down as unfriendly to modern innovations, like cars, and successful businesses, as possible. It suddenly occurs to me that one of the councilors might have been from the future, and the investments into killing the downtown a slow death were all working towards this moment.

Anyway, for a week last spring, the area surrounding the city hall was turned into a bustling Victorian market, and del Toro and film star Mia Wasikowska were on hand to film the walking past of things, the walking into things, and the walking around of things. And I was this close to being an extra in the film. I say I was this close, which is my way of making it sound far more impressive that I was not selected during the open casting call for extras to appear as Victorian degenerates. Not that I harbor any aspirations for being an actor, but considering that at the time I had a full, Victorian cut beard, the neutral scowl of the emotionally repressed, and a knack for appearing far more at home in a waist-coat with fob watch and hat than I do in jeans and a t-shirt, I thought I'd be a shoe-in. Apparently, my then recent haircut precluded me from taking part (damn my lack of a greasy mane).

Never discount the lack of ceremony that can be heaped upon a moment like this. Instead of embracing the production, it's money and the associated fame, the local how-do-you-dos got hot and bothered because the production ripped up several anachronistic trees the city had planted around the area. Of course, no mention was made that the production replaced these with identical, even nicer trees when they were through, because that doesn't fit the narrative. Not that one would know what they hell the narrative was, because the local paper, a publication so inept one has to check the letter head every morning to make certain they've spelled their name correctly, identified the film as "Haunted Peak" in every article concerning the filming. This was well and after the name Crimson Peak had been settled on, and was widely known. Apparently, google isn't something the editorial staff has access to (this continues to confuse me, as it actually takes more effort to find out the film was briefly known as "Haunted Peak" then it does to know that it is called Crimson Peak).

Anyway, that story doesn't fell go anywhere, except as a lead in to the first trailer arriving, and that I will be seeing it, if only to spot the 4.6 second establishing shot of the exact location I once haggled a vendor at a farmer's market into giving me a complete set of Ian Fleming second editions for a buck a piece.
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About MR. Clark

Adopting the descriptor of "successfully unpublished author", MR. Clark began writing things on the internet in 2012, which he believed to be an entirely reputable and civilized place to find and deliver information. He regrets much.


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